Food

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I’ve been laid low the past couple of days by a nasty little stomach bug. I assume it was something I ate, but what? It could have been just about anything. The grilled street pork. The ice in my iced coffee. The ice in my beer. Everyone’s a suspect–it’s like Murder on the Orient Express. Still, this is the first of such troubles I’ve had in I don’t how long–certainly since I’ve been in Vietnam, which, as I realized the other day, has been more than four months now. In any case, it’s impossible and kind of pointless to live here and not eat the street food and drink the street cafe sua da, and seriously, most Vietnamese food is incredibly fresh, although just typing the words “eat” and “food” makes me want to go lie back down.

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I’m in the beautiful old city of Hoi An. The last week or so I’ve been making my way up the coast along the beaches of Vietnam.

Nha Trang: I exaggerated when I wrote that Vietnamese women go to the beach fully dressed, although not by much. I did see a few one-piece bathing suits and even a couple of Annette Funicello-style bikinis to go along with all the long-sleeve t-shirts and pajama pants, but compared to their Western counterparts–those hussies–Vietnamese beachgoers are about as provocative as, well, Annette Funicello.

This is not just a case of cultural modesty; many Vietnamese women have a vampirical aversion to the sun. As in most of Asia, white skin is highly prized here. Skin-bleaching creams fill the shelves, and it’s common to see women dressed like a cross between Michael Jackson and Rita Hayworth: floppy hat, sunglasses, surgical mask, and the kind of arm-length evening gloves last seen in Gilda. They even commit the ultimate fashion sin in their quest for beauty–socks underneath their sandals, all so as not to expose even an inch of skin to that pigment-arousing solar devil.

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In Country

Vietnam, on kind of a whim. I just spent the last five days in and around Kampot, a seaside town in Cambodia, and site of this plane crash. I was actually up on a nearby mountain on the morning of the accident. I didn’t see/hear anything at the time but the weather was so bad & visibility so poor, it doesn’t come as a total shock. This morning I saw helicopters returning from the mountain, transporting, I was told, the bodies of the dead.

It cast a pall over what was a very enjoyable time in Kampot and the surrounding areas–the old and hollowed-out French seaside resort of Kep, the spooky abandoned hill station of Bokor, the beach town of Sihanoukville for a night.

I met many interesting people in Kampot. Last night I ate porcupine. It was good–I was about to write “surprisingly good” but the thought of eating porcupine had honestly never, ever crossed my mind until I was about to take the first bite, so I really had no expectation to confound or overcome. Porcupine tastes like venison. I can report this with a high degree of accuracy because I had both at the same meal, a late-night affair with a Sri Lankan restaurant owner named Lucki and a Cambodian named Thom.

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As I was passing one of the many clothes/assorted junk/used CD street vendors in the Khao San Rd. orbit last night, I noticed the CD of some Finnish guys I know from New York. I did a double-take and ended up getting into a conversation with the vendor, A. (I’m not doing the Victorian-era literary conceit this time. That was his name. He later introduced his younger brother as B.). He and his friends seemed cool and they invited me to join them for a beer on the sidewalk. After a few minutes, A. turned and offered me a 7-11 Big Gulp cup. “Here, I want you to try this,” he said. It was very cold. I took a tiny sip to be polite. “Do you know this?” he asked. “It’s called . . . it’s called . . .”

“Sure, it’s a Slurpee,” I said. “They have these in America, too.”

A., however, was still finishing his sentence, looking for the word. “It’s called . . . methadone.”

Dang, they have everything at 7-11.

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“No more methadone-laced Slurpees for you, young man!!”

disembarking-good.jpgAfter three days on Koh Phangan (more to say about this place), and four more on Koh Tao (not so much to say here–it was beautiful and touristy; I snorkeled but did not dive), L. and I decided to stop off at a seaside resort town called Prachuap Khiri Khan on our way to Bangkok.

From Koh Tao we booked passage to the port city of Chumphon on the last ferry of the night–a rusting hulk used primarily to transport cars. Cramped, split-level sleeping quarters offered mean accomodations (the name “Golden Venture” popped into my mind.) Restless and hot, I wandered out to the back–er, stern–of the ship. There I espied a ladder and climbed onto the roof (which I think may be correctly called the poop deck?!? I hope so.) It was empty and I went back down to retrieve L.

We laid out on the rusty steel deck, she with a tire for a pillow, me with a bunched-up towel, and looked up at one of the biggest, most beautiful night skies I’ve ever seen. The moon shone brightly in its last quarter. Shooting stars streaked overhead and darted at the corners of my eyes. The only sounds were the thrum of the ship’s engine and the churn of the water being left in our wake. Single port and starboard lights glowed red and green, and a red siren light turned silently between them.

As we we made our way across the Gulf of Thailand, I suddenly thought that there was nowhere else on earth that I’d rather be. I wouldn’t have traded that view, that moment, that unyielding steel beneath me for the most comfortable bed in the most expensive hotel room in the most exotic place in the world. This is why I wanted to travel, I thought. This moment and this place, right now. An unexpected euphoria swept across me like a breeze.

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From Chumphon, we caught a bus five hours north to Prachuap Khiri Khan. In total contrast to the island beaches we’d just left, Prachuap struck me instantly with its faded fishing-town charm. It’s visited primarily by Thais; there were hardly any other farangs around. We took a room at the Suk Sant Hotel, an early 60’s concrete-and-plaster behemoth painted bright yellow, tangerine, and electric lime. Of course, I couldn’t have liked it any more, although this is as much a function of my idiosyncracies as it is an objective commentary on the hotel’s standard. Still, I can say it was fairly cheap (390 baht for a double room), and we did have a balcony looking right over the bay.

As if its slightly sad and lonesome seaside charm weren’t enough, Prachuap Khiri Khan also has monkeys. Hundreds of them. They rule a mountain in the center of town (called Magic Mirror Mountain), which features a temple, Wat Thammikaram, at its peak. For more than a moment I thought maybe I had invented this magical and wonderful place.

(I have to say, though, much as it pains me: one relatively tame monkey is cute; dozens of them scurrying around and shrieking and ripping your friend’s 7-11 bag open and baring their teeth and stalking towards you menacingly–I didn’t like this as much. On the way up the mountain to the temple, there were a couple of covered sitting areas that were honestly frightening to walk through. The monkeys were just hanging around like a bunch of bored, menacing 1950s juvenile delinquents. I had to stomp and yell “NO!” in a deep caveman-like voice a couple of times to ward off an aggressive advance.)

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Other things Prachuap Khiri Khan had going for it in my book were a run-down and almost empty funfair, and a strange outdoor Thai costume drama performance which seemed largely improvised and featured malfunctioning microphones, children wandering on stage, loud bursts of feedback, and a man who looked like the Thai David Bowie wearing a scout uniform.

Also, the town is home to a Royal Thai Air Force base, Wing 53, right on the beach. During World War II, the Japanese invaded Prachuap Khiri Khan the day after they bombed Pearl Harbor.

Walking on the beach, L. and I watched fisherman repairing their colorful boats and nets, and noticed the slow-motion trails thousands of hermit crabs were leaving in the wet sand. We wandered the streets with their salt-worn wooden homes; in places it almost looked like a New England fishing town. Every meal we had was excellent: fresh seafood in curry soup, whole fish–a cottonfish covered in garlic at one meal, a sweet-and-sour seabass at another. I could have stayed for a few more days, but Bangkok and the Songkran festival and L.’s plane awaited.

Kanchanaburi Pt. 2

On my second day in Kanchanaburi, I pedaled over to the River Kwai bridge, which was destroyed in World War II (somebody should totally make a movie about this) and rebuilt afterwards. The bridge itself is unimpressive, although you can see artillery damage on some of the supports. It’s a simple curved-span crossing made of iron that was part of the Death Railway built by POWs and Asian laborers to connect Burma and Thailand. Disease, overwork, and malnutrition ended up killing over 13,000 allied soldiers and an estimated 100,000 laborers conscripted from Asia.

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Kanchanaburi, Pt. 1

[I haven’t been able to upload photos at the Internet shop here in Sangkhlaburi–there is no CD drive I can access and they won’t let me plug my laptop in (this after the employee told me I could, and I went a mile back to my guesthouse to pick it up. The boss then came in and overruled the decision, saying “Virus. Virus.”) So, photoless posting for now, but I’ll get pics up as soon as I can. Also, the machine I am typing on is obscenely slow and makes me want to weep.]

Kanchanaburi turned out to be a worthwhile first step from Bangkok. I had originally intended to go south, but wasn’t feeling the call of the beach or the island life just yet. I think part of the reason for that is because I’m traveling alone (more thoughts on this in an upcoming post). I can’t imagine trying to do this trip any other way, but there are certain things–like going to a beach–that don’t have quite the same allure when you’re by yourself. It kind of feels like taking a trip to Hawaii alone. Read the rest of this entry »

A few nights ago I hung out with a group of random new friends: Joo Young, a Korean modern dancer; Eo Jin, a Korean NGO worker living in Laos; Tsuyoshi, a Japanese economics student; and Charles, a red-bearded Australian who works for Opera, the browser company. Chang BeerJoo Young brought along his own supply of small soju bottles, and none of the bars we hit seemed to mind us openly downing them at the table, along with whatever else we ordered. (Including the hottest seafood salad I’ve ever had. This was the only thing I’ve eaten so far that frightened me; I had one bite and thought it was going to explode out of me and scurry across the floor.) Many toasts. Joo Young and Tsuyoshi were huge baseball fans, and anytime we ran out of something to say, we could just name a player and nod vigorously in agreement. Matsui! Hee Seop Choi! Jose Reyes!

I wanted to know what kind of music everyone was into: Charles named an Australian folk band I had never heard of; Tsuyoshi (Shinjo!) said he liked J-Pop; and Joo Young said–I swear–that his favorite band was Stryper. Um, I mean, he didn’t look like a Stryper fan. But this is why we travel, right? To meet baseball-and-Christian-glam-metal-loving Korean modern dancers?

Also, Charles described the future of the Web for me. It is going to involve “magic strings.” Remember me when you make your Web 3.0 fortunes.

Last night, I ate at a Jordanian restaurant called Petra. stryperband.jpgThere is a little Middle Eastern enclave in the middle of Bangkok, off of Sukhumvit Road, Soi 3. Afterwards I was having beers at an outside bar called Happy Time, and met a 30-year-old from Syria named Anas, who was on his way back home from working in Saudi Arabia. We ended up bar-hopping and had a very funny time. Best thing is, he has offered to put me up in Damascus and show me around and arrange my visa if (and when) I decide to visit.

  • Spicy Seafood
  • Nori Seaweed
  • Tuna Salad
  • Mexican Salad
  • Prawn
  • Seafood Mayonnaise
  • Japanese Shoyu Sauce

Would any account of a trip to Asia be complete without a list of “crazy” food? On that note, please observe the following Pizza Hut advertisement.

Pizza Hut

I wish I had taken a better photo, but it appears to be a ring of cheese-filled pigs-in-a-blanket oozing into a shrimp and crabmeat salad. Mouse/human hybrids are particularly fond of this menu item.

Many new photos uploaded. More posts coming tomorrow. . .

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