Strange customs of the wild Burmoo.

From my field notes:

“Bicycling through a small village near Inle Lake, young children call out to me in greeting: ‘Bye-bye! Bye-bye!’ Peculiar. Is this charming–or ominous? I do not linger long enough to find out. “

Merely one of the strange customs and habits of this unusual land. For example, did you know that the people of Burma:

• Conclude a business transaction not with a handshake but by chopping each others’ heads off?
• Have over one hundred words for “comb”?
• Are permitted to take several wives, and may marry anything–close relatives, television sets, rivers?
• Summon waiters by making loud, obnoxious kissing noises?

This last one is true, and I’m still not used to it. I keep imagining what would happen if someone did that in New York. In fact, that will be one of the scenes in my hilarious fish-out-of-water movie about a Burmese immigrant. Another funny gag will be how people constantly mistake his betel nut-stained mouth and bright red spit for blood; everywhere he goes, people will say “Hey pal, just get into a fight?” This will happen at least twenty times. Then of course, he’ll actually get into a fight but by then everyone will be used to the betel nut and will think he’s just kidding around. Can you smell the sweet box office gold?